And now for something completely different...

So, I like American Idol. Its difficult for me to just come out and admit that, but I do. I love the auditions - the obvious plants that are put in there just to make fools of themselves. I love semi-final groups of eight - where some people shine and some people don't. And then there are the finals, where it has been painfully obvious over the past two season who would be in the final four or so. However, last night's American Idol special "Uncensored, Uncut, and Untalented" (or some variation of those words, I'm too lazy to go look it up) just seemed, completely unnecessary. Yeah, there were some bad auditions. But to bring "Scat Girl" onto national television again...and to sing NEUTRON DANCE. God love us all. She sang NEUTRON DANCE. Stop. It was obvious she has the personality of a ball of wax when they didn't let her speak AT ALL. Go home fame-whore, we're all full up here. And c'mon - the army girl - she's cute in that bubbly high-school cheerleader way - and her voice wasn't that bad - but did I really need to sit there and watch her sing Boogie woogie bugle boy? See - she's in the ARMY. And she sang a song about a guy in the ARMY. Get it America? And finally - what to say about good ole William Hung? He honestly seems like one of the most down to earth, humble guys on the planet - and if this is what he wants, then so be it. But I just feel bad for the kid. Everytime I hear him sing I think about that scene in "A Christmas Story" where they're in the Chinese restaurant and the waiters sing "Deck the Halls" complete with "Far-rar-rar-rar, rar rar rar rar." And his performance - they gave him BACKGROUND dancers. I'm sure Neutron Dance would have been better with background dancers. Okay, maybe not -but c'mon American Idol - a little fairness here. I leave you with a quote from that greatest of American Songs: Neutron Dance: I don't want to take it anymore I'll just stay here locked behind the door Just no time to stop and get away 'Cause I work so hard to make it everyday Whoo oooh Whoo oooh There's no money falling from the sky 'Cause a man took my heart and robbed me blind Someone stole my brand new Chevrolet And the rent is due, I got no place to stay Whoo oooh Whoo oooh (Chorus:) And it's hard to say Just how some things never change And it's hard to find Any strength to draw the line I'm just burning doin' the neutron dance I'm just burning doin' the neutron dance