Whats happening to my shows?

The OC
First - How good is The OC. And previews of a cat-fight in a pool for next week's episode remind me a simpler time. A time where short skirts were appropriate in the workplace, Allison and Billy were on-again/off-again, and the future seemed bright for Joise Bisset, Rob Estes, and the rest of the cast of Melrose Place. The OC is a bright spot in an otherwise bleak and sad television landscape.

American Idol

America is stupid. I hate you America. America should die a horrible, rotten death, and then spend eternity listening to the vocal stylings of John Stephens. Seriously folks - just LOOK at the following two pictures

Now, who do YOU think, just from LOOKING at them, that has more talent? Rot in hell America. You deserve it.

 

Angel

Only 4 more original episodes left. The WB sucks. The WB and America can be roommates in hell.

 

As always - honorable mention goes to: Alias, The Sorpranos, The Shield.

Until Julie Cooper follows AC/DC on tour......

Later today...

I'll post more - we have a Divisional meeting this morning to review our Strategic Plan. Blah-hum-bug.

Why I blog.....

Back in early 2004, times, they were simpler. I'd come to work, do my daily internet readings, and eventually sit down and begin my workday. Now, that pristine lifestyle has been shattered, thanks to the overwhelming need to chronicle my opinions and thoughts in my daily blog.

So, why did I start it? Well, for years, I've been considering creating a true web page. I figured what a great way for friends and family to keep up with me. In addition, I thought it would be a fun project, and that I'd learn a great deal.

However, something happened when I sat down to actually do this project. I had forgotten that I spent ALL DAY LONG in front of a computer. So, by the time I got home, the last thing I really wanted to do was more computer work.

Enter the blog. My impetus to really begin it began after watching the state of the union address this year. I was inflamed. I sat down and began typing. For the next few months, sporadic entries were made. Then friends starting writing their own blogs, and it just snowballed.

So, why continue? Well, I joke, but my blog is my voice, and you can't silence my voice! My blog has multiple functions, first and foremost, its for me. I'm happy people read it, I'm happy people find it funny, informative, or disagree with everything I write (which probably every reader falls into one, if not all of those categories). But honestly, its a chance for me to sit down daily, compose my thoughts, and write for a few minutes. Since I've been writing in this, I've found my opinions to better researched and more thought out. That makes me happy (see my previous entry!).

And yes, I do the silly stuff, cause anyone who knows me knows that on extremely rare occasions I can be silly. I do pop-culture stuff because I have a passing interest in all things E! related. I do political stuff because I have opinions, which may differ greatly from many of the readers of this, and I'm all about the open exchange of ideas.

What will this be if six months? Well, if Marion is to be believed, absolutely nothing - its a fad that will die out. Maybe. I will say that I've enjoyed writing thoughts down on regular basis, that even if its not in blog form, I'll continue it.

And for what its worth, blogs don't have to serve a purpose. It can be any and everything you want it to be. I just wanted to share my motivation for mine.

Link of the day

Okay folks, Wednesday is publication day for The Onion. Normally, there are one or two real standout articles, and the rest are cute, but not LOL funny. Not so today. I can honestly say that EVERY article on today's front page is worth reading. If you are pressed for time, however, read these following ones. They're GOOD.

 Senatorial Candidate Introduces New Low-Carb Platform

National Endowment For The Arts & Crafts Criticized For Funding Giant Macramé Penis

and ESPECIALLY:

Why Can't This Family Ever Have A Funky Good Time?

Have a good one. Until James Brown bakes me a pie.....

Is this really what the founding fathers had in mind?

You've seen and heard them: the campaign ads that amount to "If you vote for candidate X, then you're voting to steal money from your grandparents, give cocaine to small children, and raise taxes."

On my way to work this morning, I was listening to story on NPR regarding a Republican Senate primary race in Pennsylvania. These two candidates were trying to out conservatize each other (I'm fully aware that is not a word, but you understand what it means don't you? So shut up). And the thought just crossed my mind - this can't be what our democracy was supposed to be.  The very idea of a democracy is that different ideas are heard, the ideas with the most support are the ideas which make it. Have our attention spans really decreased to the point that a campaign is nothing more then a series of television and radio ads, not a true discussion of these ideas?

I think the answer may be yes AND no. In mainstream media, all the average citizen gets is the soundbites, and for many, it really becomes a question of what candidate looks the most trustworthy. This is the candidate's ads you will believe.

But for the more educated and involved, they seek out more information, and delve into the deeper meanings behind the rhetoric they hear in a campaign. These people do not blindly accept claims from an opposition's camp. They realize that every issue has some black, some white, and some grey. I'd like to think that I fall into this category, as do the majority of my friends. While I might not always agree with many of them, I do value any opinions reached through research and thought.

Links of the Day

An editorial comment about both of these links - they just happen to be one of the funnier things I've seen in the past day and one of the most interesting politically. I link to them not to make a statement, but simply to inform and educate. Shalom.

I wonder if Barbara ever ate fleas?

This DOES make sense.

 

Until John Kerry says "you know what, George, you've been right on everything" ........

My first 100 days

After any major election, the first major milestone is the first 100 days of office. This is a chance for reflection on an elected official's promises versus output. While, I'm not running for office at this point in time, if I were, these are the things that I would propose to do within my first 100 days: 1) Make weekends longer - yes, I know what would happen, weekends would become 3 full days, and then people would still say the weekend needs to be longer - but really folks, 2 days just isn't long enough. I'd be willing to go to two and half. Lets start the work-week at noon on Monday. I'd even been willing to stay until six o'clock. With no lunch break, thats a reduction of 2 hours a week of work. Its already ten o'clock at work and I've done NOTHING, so its really not a stretch. How many people are really, really productive on a Monday morning anyway? 2) Release just the right amount of pollution to make the weather 75-85 all year long - c'mon, we all know about global warming. lets put it to good use. Sure, we'd have to hire some scientists to get the formulation right, but imagine a world where it was 80 degrees during the day ALL THE TIME. Crime would virtually be eliminated. And finally, 3) Declare every Thursday wings and beer day. It would be positively un-American not to partake in these delicacies every Thursday. Wings would be $ .15 each, and pitchers of beer would be $2.50. Businesses providing these services would of course receive a tax break. Vote for Daniel in 2024!!! PS - Happy Birthday Sean. PPS - I'm serious about the wings/beer thing.

Its Friday, I got a job, and I got shit to do....

My entries this week have been remarkably focused for me - each one has been about a single topic. As such, I've got a number of interesting links saved up from the week, so instead of rambling on about some inane topic today, I'm going to let other people do it for me. Anyways, on to this week's links: Maybe we can pay to put al-Sadr on this? There is just nothing else to say about this other then its a horrible, horrible way to die. I've been telling people this for years. If this is not doctored, its really, really messed up. Happy Secretaries Day Donald! Calling William Hung.... There may be a few openings in Hollywood.... Have a good weekend everyone. Until shepherds pie becomes the official dessert of Iraq......

Tales from the first six months...

In a few weeks, I will have been in my "new" job for six months. There are days it seems like I just started, and there are days that it seems like I've been here forever. All in all, a good move. Any job where you get to goof off with Howie for multiple hours a day can't be all bad.

But, from the front lines here at Palmetto GBA , there are a couple of stories. Wrote a blog about 'em. Like to hear it? Hear it go:

Get Well, Get well soon

I've never really worked for a big company - the largest was Blackbaud, and when I was there it had around 800 employees. There are 2700 people in my BUILDING now, so its been quite a change. And one thing I can say about these people with no hesitation is that they like their cake, cookies, and sweets. We had cake at 10:30 AM a few weeks ago to celebrate an employee's new job. There is a tin of cookies in our bay that is constantly being filled. Donuts are here once a week at least. Everytime I sneeze, I wait for people to come by with a cake singing "Get Well, Get well soon, we hope you get well soon."

Stupid People in the cafeteria

One of the perks of working here is the onsite cafeteria. I get to work, sign into my computer and make sure there are no crises needing immediate attention, and head on down to cafeteria, gonna meet some friends of mine. Friendly faces every where, humble folks without temptation. I typically go for the bagel, cereal, or oatmeal -all relatively healthy choices and a breakfast under a dollar. However, there are lines for people to get 3 eggs omelets without bacon, sausage, cheese, pigs feet, and okra.

Yesterday, while I'm preparing my bowl of oatmeal (a little brown sugar, some raisins, and a dash of cinnamon- write it down and put it in your recipe box)- a woman walked by me on her way to the fresh fruit bowl. She then proclaimed to a woman accompanying her that "I'm going to gets me some fruits." The written word really cannot portray the ghettoness with which this was said. Needless to say, I giggled about it all day.

Surplus

Here at Palmetto GBA, when you no longer need a piece of equipment in your bay, you move it to the hallway and stick a note on it saying surplus. Every week, there are chairs, desks, computers, monitors, and an assortment of file boxes and binders. This week, there has been a monitor in the bay directly across from the Automated Claims Processing Mill Bay (which is the department I work in, for all of you writing my biography at home). This monitor has a note taped to it saying "Sir Plus." Now, this may be a joke. It very well may be. I laugh everytime I see it. But, i fully recognize that with the geniuses we have working here, it may NOT be joke. And it is this possibility that makes me smile

Palmettosaurus

Height: Approx 5.8 feet

Weight: At least 200 pounds

Period: Early 21st centruy

What we know: The palmettosaurus tended to walk in packs - normally three wide down hallways of a business located in Columbia, SC. These carnivores were known primarily for their large posteriors, slow walking, gerneral disregard for their personal health, and complete and total obliviousness for the humanity around them. Attempts to go around the palmettosaurus were typically futile, as their hips tended to sway side to side enough that the attempted passer was very well taking his or her own life into his hands.

A diet of a palmettosaurus consisted of - bacon and eggs and sausage and grits after awakening, a double bacon cheeseburger and fries in the midday, and an undisclosed evening meal(a palmettosaurus has never been observed eating after 4:30 PM, but it can be assumed that the meal would consist of some sort of pork, possibly fried, and some manner of fried potato or vegetable).

Below is an artist's rendering of the palmettosaurus:

I hope you have enjoyed this look into the workings of Palmetto GBA. Until the Palmettosaurus starts eating grapefruit.......

Warning: Political Post Below!!!

Of course I watched the presidential news conference last night. Of course I have opinions about it. But before we get to that, I want to tell everyone a story. When I was in college, I dabbled on the intramural debate team. We got extra credit for doing it for my public speaking class. We'd done some parliamentary debate in this class and I enjoyed it. I'm normally fairly animated and all over the place when it comes to arguing opinions, so it was a great experience in being a little more focused reserved in topical debates. The best memory I have of this debate team was a Saturday morning where my college roommate Tana and I were on a team. The question posed was something along the lines of "Individual work is always superior to team work." Our opponents opened, so they argues that individual work was always better. They did this by arguing that Batman and Robin were superior to the Super fiends (Honestly, I'm not creative enough to make this up). For their full two minutes, they blathered on and on about the successes that Batman and Robin had as an example of the superiority of the individual over a team. In what may be one of the most beautiful moments of my college career, it came time for rebuttal. A favorite show of ours at the time (and one of mine currently) was South Park. There was an episode where Johnny Cochran guest starred and instituted the "Chewbacca Defense." The reasoning went something like this: "It does not make sense for a 7 ft tall Wookie to live on Endor with some 3 foot tall Ewoks. It does not make sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit." Tana then proceeded to get up and mimic the Chewbacca defense with what amounted to two minutes of "It does not make sense. What you just said had no relationship to the question posed. Batman and Robin are team, just like the Superfriends It does not make sense." Last night's press conference reminded me of that experience. Here is a suggestion to politicians out there - if you want to speak your agenda, and not deviate from it, then a speech is what is called for. If you want to answer questions from the press corp, then call a press conference. You cannot do both. Its insulting to all involved to hear a question and then blatantly NOT answer it. I think that most Americans would be hard pressed to make an argument for the "Sadaam Hussein is a hell of a guy, and I'd love for him to be in family" club. Thats not really the point of the war, or the criticism of the war. I think the world would be better off without Zima, brown M&Ms, and Lou Bega. Do I think we need to involve our armed forces in removing all of these things from the world? I think you might be able to guess my answer. I could write seventy pages about the alleged justification for war in Iraq. However, the simple fact remains that we are there. We've obliterated the governing system of Iraq. And now, our manifest destiny tells us that we must spread democracy to the Arab world, and it must begin with Iraq. I think this is why we are failing in Iraq (and yes, I think we're failing. No, I take not pride in that fact. It is not an "I told you so.") Instead of trying to understand their people, their culture, their religion, their values, we're moving in saying "We're the greatest country in the world. Of course you want our system of government." Democracy may be what is best for Iraq in the end. I don't know. I'm not well-versed enough in religion and political science to make that case. But I haven't heard anyone in our government make that case either.

This deserves it own entry

I see a lot of crazy stuff on this internet thing. Most of it I can come up with some sort of justification for its raison d’etre , but I just don't understand this. At all.

If you're looking for some fun things to try, here is a list:

dance
read
watch tv
masturbate
kiss me
turn off lights

Baked Sweet Potatoes are good

First off, thank you to Mike G. for posting a link in his blog. Its a picture which defies all logical explanationand reasoning. If you're not a regular reader of our resident foreigner's blog, the entry in question can be found here. My apologies to G for blatantly stealing his content, as I do attempt to keep some level of originality in my entries, but this was just too good to keep private. I've got a meeting in a few minutes that will likely last all morning. The purpose of this meeting? None. Absolutely nothing. There are going to be ten people sitting around a table talking about nothing for two hours, and that'll be that. The joys of corporate America. Last night, after a nice visit to the gym, I returned home to shower and eat dinner. I brought home with me some smoked chicken halfs that my family had at easter. I baked a sweet potato in the oven, and let me tell you, it was a damn good meal. Baked sweet potatoes are good. Its Tuesday, which should mean some blathering on my part about American Idol, but thanks to a press conference scheduled by our beloved president, it won't be on tonight. As if I needed ANOTHER reason to dislike W. Oh well, it should be entertaining to watch him scurry around the question of withdrawal in Iraq by June 30th. Till tomorrow

Its time to pay the man again

Last night, I finished my taxes. Yes, I'm waiting until close to the last minute, but due to some financial decisions made in the previous year, I knew that I would have to write Uncle Sam a check come April 15th, so I wanted to delay the writing of that check as long as possible. Now, I make no claims that I'm the smartest man alive - but I don't think I'm stupid either. I've graduated from some of the finest institutions in the state (i.e. Strom Thurmond High School), but anything aside from the standard vanilla 1040 tax form is absolutely ridiculously difficult to figure out. See, I worked out of my home for most of last year. As such, I'm entitled to deduct a portion of my mortgage and utilities as a job expense. Even with Turbo Tax, this was no easy feat to accomplish. And after about an hour and a half of gathering the necessary numbers, and figuring out how to make Turbo Tax realize that I had not sold my home when I started my new job, the whopping savings to me was about $3. That was time well spent. No one likes to pay taxes. I see it as a necessary excercise in keeping our government running. But c'mon people, its too damn complicated. One of the fundamental concepts of any computer science degree is form design. You want to design both printed forms and computer screens to be easy to use, logical, and neat. Hello, IRS. At least its over with for another year. Later this afternoon, I'll be printing them out and putting them in the mail. I'm sure things won't get easier for next year, but a little boy can dream, can't he?

A liberal Friday entry

Its been a while since I've done any really pissing off of my conservative friends who read this. So, in the spirit of Good Friday, what better way to celebrate the death of the man named Jesus then a tirade on gay marriage. The best way to sum up my views on gay marriage is to tell a story. I was home a few weeks ago and my mother asked me what my thoughts on gay marriage where. I honestly looked at her and simply said I don't really have any thoughts on it, cause I haven't spent any time THINKING about it. Which equates to a simple belief of "Why not? Its a non-issue in my book." Opponents of gay marriage say "Marriage was meant for a man and woman." What they fail to realize is that in saying this, these people are exposing the fundamentally religious nature of marriage. Jesus' first miracle was at a wedding. Governments adopted marriage as a civil institution primarily because it was such a permeating religious one. Government could change the meaning of the word marriage to include any loving unions just as easily as they could raise the minimum wage, not attack foreign countries under false pretenses, and ensure that Americans have a base minimum of health care. Many say "let the gays have civil unions, but keep marriage as something only between a man and a woman." Folks, I've got news for you - Brown V. Board of Education was fifty YEARS ago - separate but equal isn't right, fair, or legal. Sure, that was in regards to public education, but the underlying principle is the same. To return to my original story - this is actually not an issue that I really CARE about - it doesn't affect me really in any way, shape, or form. I have very few gay friends, and of the ones I do have, I don't know any who would like to be married. It just concerns me, that in an election year where we have millions of people without jobs or health care, that we're even spending a moment of valuable campaign time discussing a constitutional ban on gay marriage. What is next, a constitutional ban on zima? (although, I could probably get behind that amendment). Most people against gay marriage object to it on a religious basis. Thats fine. I respect your right to do so, and I won't even say that you're wrong. Its your right. Just remember, that just because something is legal in the land, doesn't mean your church has to embrace it: i.e. alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, pre-marital sex, flatulence, or violent entertainment. If gay marriages were legal in the US, your church would NOT have to perform them. And now, a very special shout out to Mike G. and Wicker who have joined us in the blog community. Welcome to the world of sharing your opinions for all to see.

Read this other stuff

So, again, another day where I don't really have too much to say. Its Thursday, so that means tomorrow is Friday (for all you kids who rode in today on a bus that is of smaller length then a normal one). And that indeed is a good thing. So, since nothing has really fueled the fire of my sarcasm, I proudly present to you some reading material found on other websites! This is the true story,true story, of one man in a car, who agreed to have their lives taped. Find out what happens when people stop being smart, and start getting dumb. The Dumb World, FL. shhhh...Here kitty kitty..... Gives new meaning to the phrase Brother Grandaddy. Until The Easter Bunny drives a sleigh with eight reindeer.....

God Bless the Fox Network

So have you seen the previews for this new reality series from Fox called The Swan? The premise: take some average women (the supposed "ugly ducklings"), give them plastic surgery in an attempt to turn them into a beauties (the proverbial "swan") and parade them around in a beauty pageant. Some of the ducklings will not even make it to the pageant portion of the show.

Anyone who knows me knows that I don't hold much sacred. I'll make jokes at the expense of religion, the poor and destitute, and even the handicapped. I've pretty much ensured a special spot in hell for the fun I've made of people and things that I shouldn't have.

With all that said, this show just seems wrong. For one, I don't think it'd be interested to watch - I don't like to watch television to see insecure women succumbing to pressure to look just like everyone else. I don't want to see these women crash and burn.

The odd thing is, I do take a sick and twisted pleasure in watching "the Anna Nicole Show." I've even said to people that in watching her show, its a sure fire way to feel better about yourself. I honestly don't know what the difference is.

And I'll go on the record right now - there will be a preview claiming that the show is going to have a huge "twist" that will change the competition. Stop wtih the twisting reality show producers. Or come up with a new word. Or stop promoting every idea you have as a twist, and just present it as another part of the show.

American Idol Update

Last nights show sucked. About three of them can actually sing, the rest are coasting by cause some 13 year old girl thinks they're cute. And the editing on this show has gotten really, really bad. Did I really need the 5 second close up of Jennifer Hudson's hand? If there is any justice in this crazy world of ours, John Stevens will get the hell off of my TV this week, and then next week Camile will go, and then John Peter Lewis (he CANNOT SING PEOPLE. YOU MAY THINK HE IS CUTE, WHICH IS FINE. BUT HE CANNOT SING. HE. CANNOT. SING.)

Until Anna Nicole joins Mensa.....

What a good morning

For those of you with Blogs, have you ever written a lengthy entry, only to have it disappear from your screen right at the moment of posting? So now I'm faced with a dilemma, try to recreate the brilliance of the previous entry, or suck it up and do a shitty entry. I'm opting for the brilliance recreation.

So, this morning, I decide extremely randomly to take a different route to work. I don't really know why. Everything is going extremely well until I get about a mile from my office. It is here that I see my friend B.E. Dowdy in the median. Most of you are probably unfamiliar with Officer Dowdy, as I was until this morning. Unfortunately, Officer Dowdy caught me doing 45 in a 25 (school zone, at that). I honestly had no IDEA that it was a school zone and told him as much. I must have a trusting face, cause he reduced the ticket to 34 in a 25 and only 2 points and a $75 fine. At that level, I'm not even going to bother going to court - nothing will get reduced.

The lesson here boys and girls? Stick to your routine. New and different is bad.

American Idol Funnies

So, one of my favorite websites is Television without Pity. This site recaps television shows in a sarcastic manner. The recapper for American Idol is absolutely hysterical. I snorted Diet Mountain Dew through my nostrils this morning thanks to the following except from his recap:

"Commercials. When we return, it's time for Diana Degarmo, who is going to sing "Do You Love Me?" You know, the song where the second half of that line goes "now that I can dance"? The song you all learned to do the twist to on '50s Day when you were in second grade? That song? Where on God's green earth did she ever get the idea this song would be a good choice for this contest? Why, in the pageants, I'm sure. Ech. And what the hell did she do to her hair? She's got it all pulled back over her head in some sort of faux-hawk femullet thing. It makes her head look about five inches too tall. Kimberly Caldwell wore something similarly hideous last year. Diana's also wearing a denim jacket, white shirt, and red skirt.

So, when you go to Disney World's Magic Kingdom, they have (or used to have, anyway) one of their mass dining troughs in Tomorrowland, where you buy lukewarm burgers wrapped in foil, pay $12, and sit in three decks of seating and scarf them down so you can hurry up to Space Mountain and wait in line for an hour to ride a really tame roller coaster in the dark. Anyway, God forbid anybody have a moment of silence or non-entertainment there. So there's a stage up in the front that magically rises and lowers to bring up live acts of terribly mediocre singers and their creepy plastic smiles. This is exactly the kind of thing you have to suffer through while you're eating there. Diana prances around in her pageant smile and boring upbeat number while everybody pretends to be interested while waiting for their sister to finish her damned French fries already so they can go on a ride or something. She sounds a little sharp all the way through the song, too. Honestly, I'm having doubts that she'll even have enough experience in five years to make one of those "connections" Simon and I are already harping about. The fakeness is so ingrained in her. I think she might need cult deprogramming. She orders us to "Come on!" about five times. I'm not coming. Knock it off. Are you recruiting for your cult?"

 

The joys of my Tuesday morning. Have a good one.

Until Officer Dowdy repeals my ticket......

Weekend Wrapup

Okay, the Bridge Run was a success. 6.2 miles in 1:04:30. Not quite the time I was hoping for, but I'm not really complaining either. The new bridge is supposed to be compelte by next year, so maybe next year's run will be over it. An afternoon drinking beer and playing bocce on the beach ain't half bad either. Now, this lady has always kinda freaked me out. Her show on the Food network is something else. But this is just plain WIERD. I dont' even know what to say about it. For all you kids going to the prom, check this out. I'm going to Tivo this show like it is going out of style. I leave you with a quote from a friend. She said it the other day on the phone while I was at work and it just made me laugh: "Now I wish I hadn't woofed down my cheese sandwhich because now I'm unpleasantly full."

Friday Google Image Fun

So, for all those who missed the joke - yesterday's entry was indeed an April Foolery. As long as there is red blood in my veins, my blog will be full of snarkiness and wrongness. Something good did come out of the joke though - I liked the new layout so much I'm going to stick with it. I have updated the color scheme to be a little less obnoxious. And you never know when the My Little Pony icon will come back. So, without further adieu, is the Google Image Game, Part 2. Mary How Jimmy Hartley Lane Hayden And, a special section - dedicated to my friends parents... George How Cookie Richardson See you on Monday....

Its a new day

Its a new era here at my blog: You may notice some changes here today - a new color scheme, a new image, and a decidedly new tone. In reviewing my writings of the past few weeks, I've noticed a descent into the darkness that is negativity. I can honestly say that I don't like what I seem to have become. So today marks a new adventure in the world of my blog. Gone is the negativity of before. From here on out, there will only be writings and stories that uplift, console, and inspire. No more of this political nonsense. No more angry letters to those simply trying to get by in this world. No more google image search making fun of those people I care about in this world. Yes my friends, its a new day, and I look forward to fighting the sarcasm and negativity in this world together. Together, we can make a positive change. In the words of Michael Jackson: "I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life"