Tuesday, April 6, 2004

What a good morning

For those of you with Blogs, have you ever written a lengthy entry, only to have it disappear from your screen right at the moment of posting? So now I'm faced with a dilemma, try to recreate the brilliance of the previous entry, or suck it up and do a shitty entry. I'm opting for the brilliance recreation.

So, this morning, I decide extremely randomly to take a different route to work. I don't really know why. Everything is going extremely well until I get about a mile from my office. It is here that I see my friend B.E. Dowdy in the median. Most of you are probably unfamiliar with Officer Dowdy, as I was until this morning. Unfortunately, Officer Dowdy caught me doing 45 in a 25 (school zone, at that). I honestly had no IDEA that it was a school zone and told him as much. I must have a trusting face, cause he reduced the ticket to 34 in a 25 and only 2 points and a $75 fine. At that level, I'm not even going to bother going to court - nothing will get reduced.

The lesson here boys and girls? Stick to your routine. New and different is bad.

American Idol Funnies

So, one of my favorite websites is Television without Pity. This site recaps television shows in a sarcastic manner. The recapper for American Idol is absolutely hysterical. I snorted Diet Mountain Dew through my nostrils this morning thanks to the following except from his recap:

"Commercials. When we return, it's time for Diana Degarmo, who is going to sing "Do You Love Me?" You know, the song where the second half of that line goes "now that I can dance"? The song you all learned to do the twist to on '50s Day when you were in second grade? That song? Where on God's green earth did she ever get the idea this song would be a good choice for this contest? Why, in the pageants, I'm sure. Ech. And what the hell did she do to her hair? She's got it all pulled back over her head in some sort of faux-hawk femullet thing. It makes her head look about five inches too tall. Kimberly Caldwell wore something similarly hideous last year. Diana's also wearing a denim jacket, white shirt, and red skirt.

So, when you go to Disney World's Magic Kingdom, they have (or used to have, anyway) one of their mass dining troughs in Tomorrowland, where you buy lukewarm burgers wrapped in foil, pay $12, and sit in three decks of seating and scarf them down so you can hurry up to Space Mountain and wait in line for an hour to ride a really tame roller coaster in the dark. Anyway, God forbid anybody have a moment of silence or non-entertainment there. So there's a stage up in the front that magically rises and lowers to bring up live acts of terribly mediocre singers and their creepy plastic smiles. This is exactly the kind of thing you have to suffer through while you're eating there. Diana prances around in her pageant smile and boring upbeat number while everybody pretends to be interested while waiting for their sister to finish her damned French fries already so they can go on a ride or something. She sounds a little sharp all the way through the song, too. Honestly, I'm having doubts that she'll even have enough experience in five years to make one of those "connections" Simon and I are already harping about. The fakeness is so ingrained in her. I think she might need cult deprogramming. She orders us to "Come on!" about five times. I'm not coming. Knock it off. Are you recruiting for your cult?"

 

The joys of my Tuesday morning. Have a good one.

Until Officer Dowdy repeals my ticket......

No comments:

Post a Comment